Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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