Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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