It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
