We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
