Umm I'm too high to move.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
