We're like a lot better than the average bears
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
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