Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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