No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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