oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the day after is always just damage control
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize