absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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