It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize