Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize