it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
