yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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