He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
