very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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