I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
