seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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