How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
