she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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