its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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