Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
