I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize