dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize