I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.