i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
