Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(815): View more from Illinois

yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(815): yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything http://tfl.nu/8gpe

Replies (14) Good night (4438) Bad night (906)
Favorite
(817): View more from Texas

This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(817): This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here" http://tfl.nu/277o

Replies (9) Good night (3569) Bad night (1469)
Favorite
(609): View more from New Jersey

I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(609): I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila." http://tfl.nu/how1

Replies (25) Good night (5585) Bad night (2642)
Favorite
(501): View more from Arkansas

Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(501): Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun http://tfl.nu/8fzd

Replies (5) Good night (2841) Bad night (963)
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume. http://tfl.nu/bk4q

Replies (8) Good night (2884) Bad night (982)
Favorite
(414): View more from Wisconsin

Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(414): Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table? http://tfl.nu/liu6

Replies (7) Good night (2478) Bad night (1026)
Favorite
(262): View more from Wisconsin

Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(262): Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head. http://tfl.nu/w9hs

Replies (19) Good night (2865) Bad night (771)
Favorite
(817): View more from Texas

I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(817): I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE. http://tfl.nu/yalr

Replies (11) Good night (1286) Bad night (784)
Favorite
(612): View more from Minnesota

Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(612): Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all. http://tfl.nu/jmi7

Replies (1) Good night (851) Bad night (922)
Favorite
(630): View more from Illinois

That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(630): That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits." http://tfl.nu/sgvn

Replies (5) Good night (1127) Bad night (609)
Favorite
(706): View more from Georgia

The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(706): The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled http://tfl.nu/td6g

Replies (7) Good night (900) Bad night (490)
Favorite
(702): View more from Nevada

He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(702): He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed? http://tfl.nu/mq0y

Replies (1) Good night (634) Bad night (298)
Favorite
(469): View more from Texas

He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(469): He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am. http://tfl.nu/tu7g

Replies (1) Good night (908) Bad night (339)
Favorite
(214): View more from Texas

Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(214): Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night http://tfl.nu/5aj8

Replies (1) Good night (414) Bad night (244)
Favorite
(607): View more from New York

YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(607): YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus http://tfl.nu/47xe

Replies (1) Good night (196) Bad night (316)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard