Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision