Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.

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  (206): I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese. http://tfl.nu/0pie
  Replies (13) Good night (4076) Bad night (831)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level

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  (256): that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level http://tfl.nu/kj4c
  Replies (16) Good night (4772) Bad night (877)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.

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  (808): Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger. http://tfl.nu/99q6
  Replies (8) Good night (1438) Bad night (4135)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  giving yourself 2 days to recover i see

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.

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  (704): giving yourself 2 days to recover i see (828): I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night. http://tfl.nu/33op
  Replies (11) Good night (4619) Bad night (688)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.

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  (703): we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker. http://tfl.nu/rqvi
  Replies (8) Good night (5067) Bad night (551)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.

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  (616): I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse. http://tfl.nu/2ozn
  Replies (3) Good night (2065) Bad night (777)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me

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  (+44): i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me http://tfl.nu/srm7
  Replies (9) Good night (960) Bad night (3011)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.

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  (402): Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs. http://tfl.nu/4vu7
  Replies (16) Good night (2456) Bad night (740)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.

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  (724): The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants. http://tfl.nu/3mi5
  Replies (4) Good night (1982) Bad night (616)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?

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  (517): I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm? http://tfl.nu/cxi2
  Replies (7) Good night (3503) Bad night (728)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  ...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.

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  (254): ...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom. http://tfl.nu/zxa5
  Replies (4) Good night (2728) Bad night (835)
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  (845): View more from New York

  There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets

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  (845): There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets http://tfl.nu/ibjg
  Replies (6) Good night (617) Bad night (337)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.

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  (902): I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms. http://tfl.nu/obep
  Replies (7) Good night (1327) Bad night (422)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.

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  (713): It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards. http://tfl.nu/tzzb
  Replies (6) Good night (775) Bad night (399)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.

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  (812): I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least. http://tfl.nu/mb2n
  Replies (4) Good night (286) Bad night (378)

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