FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize