Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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