yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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