Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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