It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
