I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize