Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
