everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
