My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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