Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize
