i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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