It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
