I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize