I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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