From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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