this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
