Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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