i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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