just survived the first fart of the relationship.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
