My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize