If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
