So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
