I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
