Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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