Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
