If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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