nut hugger
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
