Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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