You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
