I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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