why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
