I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
