the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
A+ Viking dick
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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