Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So vagazzling was a success
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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