I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
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his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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