I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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