gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
