Me. At least after what I've been through.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize