I understand why you refuse to be sober now
a search helicopter?!
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I love how my cats smell like pot.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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